Alright, ladies, let’s talk about the impending shit show that is pre-labor anxiety. It’s like waiting for a major exam you didn’t study for, but the stakes are way higher—you’re not just worried about failing, you’re concerned about pushing something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon. Here are three foolproof ways to handle that anxiety with a sprinkle of sarcasm and a dash of humor.
1.Take a birthing course : I took the Mama Natural Birth Course Because YouTube Might Not be the Best Source
Forget random YouTube videos where anyone with a camera and a questionable angle can spout their two cents. Invest in a legit course that’ll actually teach you something useful, like how to breathe without hyperventilating or why it’s not so scary to give birth. I took this course and it was such a great way to learn and also connect with my husband – he loved it. Also, at the end of each module, there is a beautiful birth video that makes birthing not so scary!
MAMA NATURAL COURSE LINKED HERE: Mama Natural Birth Course
2. Surround Yourself with Positive Birth Stories (and Block Out the Negative Nancy’s)
Everyone and their mother (literally) wants to tell you their horror stories when you are pregnant—the episiotomies gone wrong, the 36-hour labors, the epidurals that didn’t work. Screw that noise. Seek out women who will tell you about the unicorns and rainbows of childbirth—the surprisingly easy deliveries, the painless contractions (do those even exist?), and the blissful thoughts and meditations that made them feel like they were floating on clouds.
WHAT I DID: I read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, whose books will make you feel like you can birth a baby with your mind. Create a positivity bubble so strong, not even your mother-in-law can burst it. I read this every night to go to bed with positive birth stories in my head! It worked wonders.
Here is the Amazon link: Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth
3. Go Shopping for Baby Stuff You Definitely Don’t Need (duh)
Nothing says “I’m totally prepared for this whole childbirth thing” like blowing your entire paycheck on baby gear that your kid will probably outgrow before you even go into labor. Spend hours debating between the turquoise elephant-print stroller and the charcoal-gray one that’s $50 cheaper but doesn’t have a cup holder for your venti soy latte. Because, priorities. Bonus points for getting into a heated argument with another mom-to-be in the baby aisle over who saw the limited edition unicorn swaddle blanket first.
Embrace the Chaos: Laughing Through Pre-Labor Anxiety to Your Baby’s Arrival
Pre-labor anxiety is like a roller coaster ride that you can’t get off of, no matter how hard you beg the attendant. Embrace the chaos, laugh at the absurdity, and remember, every contraction brings you one step closer to meeting your tiny dictator. So, enroll in that birth course, surround yourself with positive vibes, and splurge on that unnecessary baby gadget. And when the big day finally arrives, you’ll be as ready as you can be. Or at least, you’ll have a hilarious birth story to share with your kid when they’re older. My first word when my son was born was “f*ck” <- I’ll leave you with that!